Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Ice Ice Baby And Lube Fairies

Black guys prevented me from biking in this morning. Say what?

The road is covered in black guys
The first thing I did as I walked out the door this morning was fall on my ass. That in and of itself should have been sufficient warning, but being as stubborn/stupid as I am I wanted to at least make it out to the main road to check it out.

So I walked the bike through our neighborhood due to the many spots of black ice. Why black guys? Try saying black ice. My husband called me racist when I said I couldn't bike in because of black ice. He asked me how black guys prevented me from biking in.

Me: "I can't bike in today because of black ice."
Hubby: "How is that related to you biking?"
Me: "What do you mean? The black ice is making the roads dangerous."
Hubby: "Is there only one?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Hubby: "Black guys or black guy?"
Me: "Huh?"

I will spare you the rest of this convo. We got to the correct version of black ice eventually. And no, we aren't racist. Hubby only thinks I am. Because I didn't bike in because of black ice.

I made it to the road. Almost fell on my ass again twice. The spots of black ice weren't the worst, it was the water that was on top that made it treacherous to walk on. Biking would have been worse. Even when I was walking with the bike, the tires slid all over. I gave up in the face of bike lanes covered in that shit. I am so mad. But I guess that's what I get for living on top of a hill.

I tried googling black ice and biking. Damn you, internet, you are of no help.

I don't think this book really is about black ice
Neither is this
So far I've lost two bottles of lube to the Lube Fairies that apparently frequent our garage. I had to lube the bike last night after I made it home on a rather squeaky bike but couldn't find the bottle of lube I know I put on one of the shelves, but when I looked for it - it was gone. This is the second time a bottle of lube has vanished and been replaced by sub par lube from Fred Meyer.

Because that's what they do. Not only do they steal my lube but they replace the new lube with an old bottle of crappy lube from Fred Meyer.

Hopefully the road will be clear tomorrow from black ice and I can bike in.

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