Friday, October 30, 2015

Trick Or Treat

I don't know about you, but I've always preferred the trick part. I find treats boring and predictable, plus I hear they give you cavities and huge dental bills. No, the trick is where I thrive, but this year Halloween is serving me a trick I'm not enjoying much. This post is a little more personal than my previous ones but bear with me.

Halloween is bittersweet for me as it makes me miss my ex-boyfriend with an intensity that's unlike me. I usually don't get gooey and - feelings - yuck! I prefer not to have them much. Mostly joking about this but I'm not one for pining. But I am missing my ex, and for the first time I am aware of the finality of never seeing him again. Ever.

What triggered the trip down memory lane was stumbling across pictures of him a few days ago as I was looking for something else. This ex is not my first, but he's probably my last. The reason this - pining - is taking me by surprise is that never once have I ever pined over anyone in the past, but this guy was something else and Halloween was a special time for us.

Do I feel bad for feeling this while I have a loving husband? Not really. Does the lack of guilt make me a bad person? Doubt it. Would I rekindle anything with this ex should our paths cross again - however unlikely? No.

But here I am, pining for my ex and looking at the pictures of us. YUCK! Enough pining for today I think.

Happy Halloween!


  1. Pining for a future that wouldn't have been like that anyway. (This is Pedal Pusher, BTW). You're not the only one to have been down that route. On the other hand, an "ex" is an "ex" for a reason! Time has moved on, and you are in love with your re-constructed memories, rather than the reality. Like I said, you're not the only one to have thought about this

    1. Thank you, PP. I know, and the pining is over for this time. If I'd have a penny for every "shoulda" or "coulda", I'd have at least a dollar by now. ;) I just got blindsided is all. If I expect running into someone from my past I can prepare, but this time I had no preparation. Just pictures of us...

    2. The plus side is that I see the thinking as an echo of commitment, and very few of us would see commitment as a bad thing. It is the motives of someone who can "break" cleanly that I question. Seems to me that only the self-obsessed and the psychopathic can truly have a "clean" break.
      Just to demonstrate how common the "thinking" is, Adele's "Someone like you" sold rather well, to put it mildly!