Thursday, April 21, 2016

All Good Things...

This is probably the last time I'm going to blog for a while. Not forever, but since I'm starting in a - hopefully busier and more fulfilling job next week, I won't have time to hang out online as much as I have. Something I think is good. Good for my sanity.

I almost called in "fuck you all" today, but saner heads prevailed. Besides, I don't generally call out from work. In all fairness, this is far from the worst job I've ever had. When I was a kid, I had a summer job that almost killed me. But why I'm mentioning my initial thought is this: as I biked home yesterday, unsure of whether I would come in today or not, I had a moment of bittersweet. I thought, "This is maybe the last time I'll bike this route, so goodbye all you shards of glass, goodbye no existent bike lanes, goodbye Sammamish High with all your incompetent drivers." Of course, all those sweet thoughts were a big fat waste, and probably used up my monthly nice quota for nothing, since I came into work today as well.

But I will be biking in this route for another week - which I forgot - since I'm doing training all next week across the way from where I am now. That is, if I survive Portland.

I guess Satan did get his weather back, because it's considerably cooler today. So, thank you, Dark Lord for taking back the weather. During a temporary insane moment, I decided it was a great idea to lug all my belongings home yesterday in a ginormous backpack during the tail end of the heatwave. That load probably added about 15 lbs and the ill fitting backpack constantly threatened to topple me over. And I'll tell you this, that biking with a backwards tilting backpack up a 16% hill doesn't work well.

Anyway, until next time, take care and get some good bike rides in. I will write about the Death Ride of Portland, though.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Sunshine Makes Me Wet

As in sweaty of course, all though... never mind. Yesterday was another scorcher and per usual I forgot to carry water, so while my legs were strong, the rest of my body was weak. Things are looking up or down weather wise in Portland. Whether it's up or down depends on your point of view. If you're a nutball like +Matt Campbell, you'll say up. I'm hoping for overcast but no rain.

Only three more days in this job. I could feel very strongly yesterday that I'm just done with this bullshit. I don't know if I told you this before, but my current place of employment caters to the rich and powerful - or at least they're powerful in their own minds. With that warped sense of self comes entitlement. Not all of our patients are like that, but the majority is. Yesterday's schedule was full of the latter. I've been tolerating this behavior before, even humored it, but yesterday I just couldn't take it. I found myself being short and not very friendly. Time to move on.

Me on Saturday
I'm meeting up with a friend on Friday after work and I really, really need it. Now that I'm done with this job I can shed some (not much) light on the comment I made about a certain police detective who turned out to be a major fuckboy. I met him by coincidence, as with most things in life. I won't go into details because it ended well for me, but let's just say he was a mindfuck of epic proportions and is probably one of the reasons some people have little to no faith in law enforcement. I seriously can't comprehend that people like him can even function in life. Much less serve and protect others. Oh, well, I'm done with that now.

I've lost a total of 16 lbs now so I'm a lean, mean biking machine. Watch out, Portland! Here I come!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

It's Getting Hot In Here And Pay It Forward

Let it be said that I love sunshine. I don't care much for roasting on a beach, but I love having the sun around because it makes me happy. What I don't like is biking in it. Yesterday biking home I was reminded of how I really, really don't like biking in heat. And I definitely don't like doing hill climbs in it - which is probably why I liked the High Pass Challenge a whole lot better than Tour de Blast. HPC was a rainy and cold affair whereas TdB was a high 80s scorcher.

As far as my weight loss goes, I'm down 14 lbs now. The rapid weight loss seems to have slowed down. I'm not dieting but just cut out the heavy evening meal. I don't know if it's my imagination or not, but it seems easier and lighter to bike uphill now. I suppose it makes sense that it should feel lighter with 14 lbs less to drag uphill.

Four more days at work here, but my week seems to end on a very good note.

I have heard about this stuff happening, but never experienced it myself until today. This morning, a stranger reached in front of me with a ten dollar bill and bought my coconut water and protein bar while I stood, stunned, staring at the "out of order" sign taped to the credit card machine, my card still in my hand which was locked in the mid-air swipe position.

I had dashed to my local 7-11 before heading to work to grab a couple of things my sleep dazed head had forgotten this morning.

So, I stared blankly at the tall, 50-something man, and suddenly felt like an extra in  "Oliver Twist"… "for me, Sir?"... I whispered. The line was stacking up fast with folks with a single cup of coffee and places to go. He stuck his hand out and said, "I’m Dan. Enjoy the rest of your ride.", and off my angel went.

Now, I’m kicking myself. Had my cognitive processing skills not been completely shut down by his generosity, I would have realized that the ATM, which I have used a zillion times, was in the back of the store, and I would have gotten my own cash and paid for my own items. Nope, none of that, I just stood there, feeling the tears starting to well from this kind gesture. But the worst part is that I didn't even say "Thank you." I just stood there like a tongue tied moron.

So I'll say it here; thank you Dan, I will do this for someone else very soon, someone more deserving than myself , and if they thank me, I’ll tell them it was all you, good man. But you know, me being me, I'm a little annoyed by this gesture as well as being thankful. I prefer my mornings grumpy, and this - it completely ruined a perfectly good morning routine.

Monday, April 18, 2016

The Final Countdown

This week marks the final countdown for a couple of things; it's my last week in this job and it's the week of RondePDX. As I've said before, the latter is probably what will lead to my demise. I told +Peter Warton that I'm about 70% sure I will die. He said he's 100% sure I'll be awesome. Thank you for having more faith in me than I do at the moment, but even if we split the difference, there's a chance I will die.

Speaking of dying. A lot of our patient have died lately. Relax, there's no angel of death at work but I guess that's par for the course when dealing with an elderly population. It's just sad. Here's a piece of advice for y'all - don't break your hip when you get old. That's how it all starts.

In honor of my patients
This weekend was wonderful and it seemed to go on forever, just like when I was a kid. I actually thought Friday was Sunday. That's how long it seemed. The weather was perfect and I got a lot done. Non-bike related but even so. I feel very productive because of it.

Five days to go...

Friday, April 15, 2016

Weekend Update

I didn't go to work yesterday. Turns out giving notice is enough to trigger a monster migraine.

When I gave notice I jokingly said to my boss that this would probably send my coworker into labor - and it did. Most likely completely unrelated but nonetheless, into labor she went yesterday.

My other coworker, the one that gets away with everything, is having a love fest with my boss this morning. In other words, business as usual. On that note, I am really trying not to leave this job with a bitter after taste, because I want to leave on a positive note. The thing is - there's nothing worse (job related) to be somewhere when you're mentally done.

The more I think about it, the happier I feel about my choice. I'm getting a little excited about the change of jobs - of course I might not be alive to start my new job considering RondePDX is next weekend. I haven't really trained any for this lunacy so it is what it is. Either I'm ready for it or I'm not.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

'Round The Bend, Here I Come!

I don't like straight roads. Never have. I find them boring and predictable.
Unless you're on this road... who's to say what kind of bend we're talking here...
My life is now approaching a bend in the road. What's around it might be better, might be more of less the same, or it might be worse. Whatever it is, it will be exciting in and of itself because it's new. It's a change. The best part of it though is that I'm leaving primary care.

My new bike commute won't be as good, if one can call it a commute. Basically it will be down a hill, and I'm there. At least I get to bike uphill home. And, if I feel like it, I can always bike around the lake just to add some mileage. Easy fix.

I gave notice today. While this particular task is never fun (at least not when your employer is a good one), it was far less painful than anticipated. No drama and they wished me well. Phew!

I realize that my previous post was somewhat enigmatic and vague, but it's for a reason. I don't know where things are going to land currently and one of the things that I have going on in my life is a little tricky. I don't want to make a mountain of a molehill or make assumptions so for now I won't write about it.

I'm not in any trouble with the law. The detective I mentioned is of a personal nature and has nothing to do with legal issues.

What the change of jobs will mean for my online presence is that there will be far less of me here, but I will continue to write about my biking and other kinds of adventures.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I hate being the bearer of bad news but today I am.

The thing is, I'm not as happy as I could be in my current job. Sure, I've left jobs before, but this one is particularly difficult because it's such as small place. Also, there's the fact that I'm the best they've ever had in this position. No, I'm not bragging, just stating the facts.

So now, as I sit here all alone, waiting for people to show up, I am dreading the conversation to be had. And I like the people here, I really do. This is actually the first place where I haven't actively disliked someone. But this is the best decision for me, and I have to look after myself before I care about my employer.

As I mentioned on Friday, my life is a little bit chaotic at the moment, which has to do with a lot of things but mostly a certain detective at the police department. And this is also why I think relocating is a smart thing to do.

On a positive note, my commute was again awesome. The asshat apparently got fired. Not on my account. My powers aren't that great. Sorry to disappoint.

Friday, April 8, 2016

All Quiet On The Eastern Front

Yes, I know it's really the western front, but since I live on the eastside - east it is. But yes, everything is quiet. Asshat's car is parked at the same spot every morning and I haven't seen him since the photo ambush. I'll take the unspoken truce.

Tomorrow I'm setting out on the first loooong bike ride of 2016 and I'm really excited about it. My biggest problem with biking now seems to be hydration. I am just not good at maintaining the proper amount of fluids while biking. I know, I know, as a healthcare provider I should know better, which makes it even more stupid. But you know, the baker's children and so on and so forth - but this morning I'm downing water like it's going out of style.

Still have a bit of a headache and lost another lbs. Hubby thinks I've lost a lot of water weight whatever that means. Nine lbs and counting.

On another note, I might take a break from blogging life for a while. Too many balls in the air at the moment and I feel I need some quiet and private time away from the online universe. This feeling may or may not linger, and perhaps I just need a full weekend of biking to cure whatever it is that's riding me at the moment.

I'll tell you this much - feelings are exhausting. Especially when they go from one extreme to the next, which is why I'm generally not a fan. Of feelings, that is. If you meet me in real life, you would never guess I'm such an over-sharer as I might come across here. Most people say I seem aloof and cold in a non-work setting. Funny how one puts on different hats in different situations.

Until then. Have a great weekend and I wish you lots and lots of sunshine and biking.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Thunder And Lightning And Babies

My coworker is very pregnant. Yes, there are degrees of being pregnant. We all thought she would pop when they forecasted thunder storms last week, but then there was no thunder and she didn't pop.

I read over one of my previous blog posts - more specifically this one, and I realize that it was a bit vague, so I want to clarify that nothing happened other than meeting and talking. After all, I don't jump into things carelessly or without consideration. The only reason I'm not using Matt's real name is because I've chosen to keep my writings at least somewhat anonymous. Protect the innocent and such. Notice how I say the innocent and not asshat drivers who attempt to take out any and every cyclist on the road.
Jesus, take the wheel - or something...
I considered not writing anything about changing my route in case the asshat had found my blog, seen his picture, and is now cyber stalking me as well as in real life. But judging by his use of a proper old-timey camera, I doubt he even knows what the internet is. Maybe they didn't have technology past 1980 in the hole he climbed out from like a god damned angry mole.

I biked the new route last night but not this morning. I thought about it but decided against it because, 1) if he wants to take photos of me, then be my guest - and 2) if I see him again, I'll offer a truce. Maybe he had a terrible day or maybe he hates his life. And since I generally don't hate mine, I can afford to look the other way this time.

Anywho, I'm over it now. Biking is just too good and so is life in general.

This weekend I'm doing my first long ride of the year. Most likely south to Puyallup or thereabouts.

Eighty degrees today! Holy guacamole!

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Photo Ambush

This thing from yesterday is getting weirder and weirder. As I was biking on SE 36th St, I heard a car slow down next to me and I thought it was the asshat from yesterday. Sure enough, he turned right over the I-90 bridge. As I'm biking passed some fencing by where he parked (I saw his car), he steps out from the fence and takes my photo. WTF?!?!?

It's all kinds of ridiculous, but also a little creepy, because this means he's thought about it enough to bring an old-timey camera - no smartphone - drive to work early enough to attempt to intercept me, and to take my photo for some reason. Oh, well. Should I get run over by a silver colored SUV one of these mornings, you know who it is.
This is where he parks
Smile - to the not so candid camera
I'm posting his photo again, so y'all know who took out Bike Chick.

Apart from this little thing, my commute in was awesome! My legs, for some reason, were super strong and I biked in on record time. Probably fueled by asshat.

After giving it some thought, I have decided to bike another route to work for a while. That's not me backing down or admitting to defeat, but simply being sensible. Why poke the crazy bear. After all, he has yet again proven that he's not operating in the same universe as the rest of us.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

What Is With Everybody Today?

It's not raining. The weather has been spectacular the last few days. It's Tuesday, which means it's one day closer to Friday than it was yesterday. Not that the last sentence is of particular importance, just worth mentioning. What I'm trying to say is that life can suck a whole lot more than it did this morning.

This is asshat edition.

I was yelled at by a driver by Bellevue College for being to his right at the stop sign - I was there first. He pulled up next to me. Had I known that's what he was yelling at me for, I probably would have thought twice about attempting a conversation with him - because that just means that he's fucking nuts. Which it turned out he was.
Aerial view of intersection
Street view
Where the red car is, is the stop sign in question. I was standing at the sign, waiting for a car that was coming from my left. It's a four way stop. The car to my left was at the intersection first and was heading straight through. As I'm standing at the sign, the asshat below pulls up next to me. When it's my turn, I take a right and an immediate left, which I signal.

Then the asshat zooms by and yells something which isn't "Good morning". He also almost runs over a pedestrian further up ahead, but then pulls into one of the Bellevue College parking lots.

Long story short: I happen to bike passed the parking lot he's in as he's coming out of his car, so I decided that this is too serendipitous to pass up and pull in next to him. I ask him what he was yelling at me for. He yells I cannot turn right. Say what? His English isn't very good, so I respond by asking him to repeat what he just said. From what I can gather, what he really means is I cannot turn right when there's a car next to me at a stop sign. Again - say what?

I exited the conversation after a couple of minutes of being yelled at in broken English. There was just no reasoning with him. Either because I don't speak Yell or because his command of the English language wasn't great. So I left after snapping these award winning shots.
Just taking a photo of his license plate in case he decided to run me over next time
By the way, probably NOT coffee in that thermos
Wait, what! Are you taking a photo of me?
You bet I am, you motherfucker!
Notice how he has the hood covered. My guess is that it is to protect the car from blood splatter when he's taking out bicyclists with his extremely flawed rhetoric - which it really wasn't.
I am so confused. But maybe I shouldn't be. Can't reason with insanity.

Anyway, if you see this guy or his car, stay the fuck away. He is clearly a few light bulbs short of a Christmas tree.

Then, a bit later on, I was yelled at by a pedestrian I passed ON THE ROAD next to him on the sidewalk. I have no fucking clue. He said something about giving him room. You're on the SIDEWALK and I'm on the STREET. What room are you talking about?

Clearly it is crazy day today and I can't wait to bike home.

But I want to end on a positive note, because that's just how I roll.

It was crazy day, indeed, but it turned out to kinda sorta work in my favor a little later on. A homeless guy who was walking in front of me on the sidewalk, steps into the road so I can pass. I yell at him that he needs to get back on the sidewalk BECAUSE HE WILL GET RUN OVER. Where he's standing there's a curve in the road so the drivers wouldn't see him until it is too late. He insists on standing there while I keep saying that he needs to get off the road. I even dismount my bike to get my point across. But no - homeless guy refuses to budge, and it was just pure luck that he didn't get run over.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Oh, Baby, Baby, It's A Wild World

First - I didn't do the Emerald City Bike Ride. Hubby threw away the registration so between that and having to get up at 5 am to do a less than 100 mile ride, I decided against it and instead bike around the lake - twice. Just so I wouldn't kill my husband.

Second - this really isn't about biking, so if you're expecting a sweeping tale about languid biking along Lake Washington, this isn't it.

Because though biking this weekend was spectacular, that's not what made this weekend a wild one. All I can say is, "WOW!" Mind blown. This weekend was absolutely FANTASTIC. It was everything I needed and more.

I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with, let's call him Matt, this weekend. Twice. And there really aren't words to describe my sentiments properly, at least not here on this blog. So maybe that should be another blog. Because this is a blog mainly about biking and I think it ought to remain as such. Let's just say that by the end of this, I will probably have enough material to write an entire book of reviews about places to meet when one is up to no good.

So with that in mind, I think I need to go on a long, hard ride sometime soon. I'm thinking Puyallup. Or Canada. Potato - potatoe.

Friday, April 1, 2016

No Bike Friday

Well, that really isn't a thing, but this week it is. I didn't bike in today because I have things to do and people to see right after work. Any occasion is a spandex occasion, you say? Believe it or not, there are times when spandex - especially sweaty spandex - wouldn't fit the dress code. Really, you say? Try to get into a black tie event in spandex and you'll see, I say. Even in Seattle, where showing up in jeans and Hawaiian shirts seem like the logical thing to do when the invite say black tie/tux.
This I guess is a good compromise?
While I'm not attending anything of that degree of fancy, I am doing something that I hope will be fun and rewarding. Tell you about it after because I don't want to jinx it.

I kind of take back what I said about sunshine. I think I'm allergic. At least while biking. The last couple of days I've probably lost half my body weight in sweat. Maybe it's just an acclimation kind of thing and my body just has to get used to temperatures above freezing, or maybe I'm like my bike - collecting all kinds of crud during the winter months and all I need is a good cleanse.

Come Sunday, I'll probably be done biking in all the wrong places by this time. I'll take photos - even though it's against my nature.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Snails In Spandex

Goddamit! There are just too many idiots on the road! And I'm not referring to cars. The cars are the least of my problems. This nice weather brings with it a myriad of moronic cyclists and I want to punch every single one of them in their stupid faces. I can practically hear their imbecile thoughts as they look at the weather forecast and think to themselves, "Oooo, it's going to be sunny out so I better wriggle into my ridiculous spandex outfit and hop on a bike that will show everyone that I have far more money than intelligence and then I'm going to ignore every traffic law there is because I'm just that good."

No! You slow snail! You are not that good! You race me downhill with zero clearance, then speed up as you hear me gaining on you on flats and inclines, huffing and puffing and looking as if you're about to have a heart attack, but letting me pass you - hell, no! And it's going to get worse. I might have to move to the middle of nowhere.

Biking makes me so relaxed.

Two things are happening this weekend: I'm doing the Emerald City Bike Ride and I'm meeting my first person off Google+, so I guess I should say this to +Jessica Lucas - I'm not really this angry. And I promise you that I won't push anyone off their bikes. No matter how tempting.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Stealing Toilet Paper And A Tom Hardy Disappointment

I went to a Pampered Chef party last night with a friend. I didn't think I'd make it, but I'll get to that later. I got roped into this by my boss who said that she would only go if I went so I went and, of course, my boss is a no show but luckily my friend went with me.

I quickly realized that the Pampered Chef is 1: freaking expensive and 2: fucking retarded. I realized this when my friend leaned over and said "Oooh look this thing minces garlic and slices it!" My rebuttal was, "Ya, it's called a knife" Then my friend asked why I went to this in the first place and I said I really just wanted to hang out and get free wine and food.
Who needs a fucking brownie pan for individual slices?
The Pampered Chef catalog was teeming with crap that no one needs. For instance, an avocado knife? What's wrong with using just a regular butter knife? A thing that mashes ground beef, aka a spatula? Spice blends that I could make myself? I am convinced that women will buy literally anything at any price as long as it comes in pretty packaging and all their other female friends are doing it.

My friend said that the point of all these extra kitchen gadgets is to make cooking easier, but really it's overpriced stuff that you don't need. The only way that I would buy a $20 spatula would be if that spatula would buy the food, cook the meal and then have sex with me after the meal, wash the dishes and be sure to call me the next day.

The reason for my larger cloud of snarkiness than usual was due to bike troubles. Tom Hardy failed me again. I was less than two miles from home, midway up the 152nd Ave SE hill, when my rear gears just wouldn't shift. Each time I tried shifting to a lower gear, the chain shifted to a higher gear. Then the gears just stopped responding completely. The front gears worked fine.

So now I'm in the highest gear possible in a 15.7% hill. Great. So I got off my bike, walked it up to a flatter area to see if some momentum would fix the gear situation. It didn't. I got up on the sidewalk, flipped the bike on its head, then tried shifting like that. Still absolutely nothing. Well, I wasn't about to walk my bike home so I called hubby to pick me up and take me to a Volkswagen dealer - kidding. I just like saying that.

Hubby took me to Gerk's, my LBS, and I made it there 20 minutes prior to closing. This is where greasing your bike mechanic with a case of beer comes in handy. My bike mechanic saw me walk in, dropped what he was doing, and tended to my bike. Yeay!

What turned out to be the problem was inside the gear housing. One of the metal ends had come loose from the rubber tube so whatever grabs onto the wire to make shifting possible didn't have anything to grab onto. I dont' know if this makes any sense. Anyway, he fixed the problem, and Tom Hardy is back in action today.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Biking In Shorts!

I decided to brave the cold and pretend it's summer this morning. The problem with pretending it's summer when it's freezing fog, is that exposed body parts tend to get very cold. Pretend summer or not.

I rode Tom Hardy in this morning and man, how I've missed him. Channing is great too, but he's a beast of a bike and doesn't handle the same way as Tom. Tom is far more elegant and nimble but I have decided that he's a fair weather bike.

I still haven't thawed yet from my ride in but it's looking promising for my ride home. Turns out it's not pure lies that come from Nick the weatherman.

This weekend is the second organized ride of the year. Well, when I say ride, it's not so much a ride rather than an experience. Anything less than 50 miles is not a bike ride. I'll add a few miles to it by biking to the start line at the UW and I might just bike the south loop of Lake Washington post ride. If it's not raining - again.

Monday, March 28, 2016

About A Boy

You know how you have fantasies you can't share with your spouse for a multitude of reasons, so you put these neatly in a drawer, thinking that very drawer is closed for good.

And for a while you are perfectly content with that drawer being closed, because life is busy and rewarding in so many other ways.

But as time passes by and circumstances change, you can hear those fantasies starting to rattle around in a drawer you thought permanently closed. So you start wondering again. You start dreaming. You start wanting. Though as much as you find yourself wanting to explore these fantasies, you are unwilling to risk what you have built.

I met a boy. A boy that made me think of possibilities I thought weren't there anymore. A boy that's got me dreaming again and has awakened the butterflies who are currently dancing around like mad.

It's nice knowing that I can still feel this way, but whether or not I'll act on it isn't decided yet. For now it remains a tempting mirage.

Anyways, that's what's on my mind today.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Tour de Cure - Again

Hello my spandex clad friends. It's that time again that I come knocking, hat in hand, to ask you to contribute to my fundraising for diabetes.

Please, please, please, donate.

You can donate here.

Trust me, you don't want me to sing, dance, or play any instrument. Your eyes and ears will start bleeding.

However, if you give me your address or email (privately), I will send you an autographed photo of me.
Here's hoping for a happy ending!
Ps! Not that photo.

Pps! Or whatever. If you really, really want a photo of my butt with my name scribbled across it, then so be it. Who am I to judge.

Faster Than The Speed Of A Fred

Man, oh man, how the Freds are a'popping.  There are Freds everywhere! And they're kinda all over the place as well. I'm not saying I'm not a Fred/Doris, because I probably am, but I think there must be degrees of Fredness. In my neck of the woods, the degree of Fredness is determined by how much yellow you're wearing and how much reflecting fabric and blinking lights you have on your bike.

I'm really glad I'm not prone to seizures because the amount of biking disco balls I encountered today would have sent me into a seizing orbit. All these bike light festivities started to cause some amount of grump buildup in me, and I felt a growing urge to maybe push one of these ridiculous biking Teletubbies into a bush or something.

But then I saw something else, something that made the bike ride in today all worth it. As I'm approaching a red light at the intersection of 145th Pl and Lake Hills Blvd, I spy with my little eyes a man in his early 70s, dressed in a dapper pinstriped suit, nice dress shoes, and a funky wool hat under his helmet, riding an ancient green bike. He was something else.

I guess he had eyes in the back of his head because he had moved to the side as he was waiting for the light to turn, so I pulled up next to him to really admire his stylin' outfit. I said "Good morning" with a level of enthusiasm I reserve for Channing Tatum and was all smiles. After a few seconds, because I imagine sound travels slowly through all the style and his wool hat, he turns his head, gives me a once over to see if I'm worthy of a response, then turns his head (all this in slow motion), making me think I failed whatever test he was putting me through, but then, when he has turned his head facing straight ahead again, he says "Good morning, good morning, good morning. That it is." Just like that.

Shortly after the light turns green and it's time to go. I almost asked him if I could take his photo, but the moment passed and I didn't seize it. Off we both go. The next light is also red so I turn around to see if I can spot him and maybe get his photo. He is nowhere to be seen - and the thing is, there is nowhere he could have gone between the first and the second light. So now I'm thinking he might be a figment of my imagination.

Maybe all the Freds decked in yellow and their blinky lights made me hallucinate.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

How Bike Chick Learned The Virtue Of Patience At Costco

The rain thing is no longer charming or funny or pleasurable. I hate the way my pants go "swoosh swoosh" and I hate wearing that portable sauna also called rain jacket.

I'm not asking for much. Not an entire month. Just a week. One week of sunshine and short sleeves.

I'm too invested to quit biking so that's not an option to change status quo, so the only option left is for the rain to stop.

Why this sudden burst of bike hating? Come to think of it, I think I like hating on stuff as much as I like biking. And Tom Hardy.

There are times like these I have to remind myself why I love biking so much or optionally just let my body go on auto. Besides I need biking these days as I have tons on my mind and a big decision to make. I have two solid offers from great employers with tons of opportunity for growth but the thing is - I know that I have it good where I am as well. I am bored - yes, but these people treat me well and that's nothing to sneeze at. I know too well what it's like to work with real assholes. A certain cardiovascular surgeon is at the top of my shit list.

Speaking of assholes. Apparently, it was "Asshole Day" at Costco (which is always, really). As I pulled into the parking lot in the pouring rain, I noticed a woman just getting into her car which was parked right up front, near the store. Great parking karma and all that I thought and pulled up near her, put on my blinkers and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. I could see her rooting around inside the car. Didn't she understand that time is precious and that I wasn't getting any younger?!?!?

I got increasingly annoyed. Unless you have some weird Costco fetish and are in desperate need to rub one out to scratch that itch, there is absolutely no valid reason why you need to tinker around in your car for several minutes when other people are waiting. I didn't get the Costco fetish vibe from the woman in the car, ergo zero excuses for robbing me of my youth.

After waiting a couple of more minutes, I honked my horn. She glanced back, looked at me, then continued doing what she was doing. Just as I was getting ready to lose my shit, I saw a man heading towards the car opposite the asshole in the first car, so I pulled up directly behind the asshole car, put my blinkers on the other way and waited for the guy to move. He had a huge cart filled with Costco loot, but by then I was in no hurry anymore so I leaned back and waited.

Of course, by then, the asshole in the first car was done with whatever needed doing and was ready to leave. Well, I was in no position to move or I would lose the parking spot to my right so I ignored her small honks.

As I was sitting there in my new found meditative state, I heard tapping on my window. It was asshole lady. I rolled down my window and gave her the "can I help you?" look. "Would you mind moving your car so I can get out?" she said. I explained that since she hadn't moved for several minutes, I'd assumed she had decided to stay. She looked slightly embarrassed and mumbled something about things she had needed to do in the car before she pulled out. (Like knitting a scarf or growing a tree?) I assured her, with a smile reserve for asshole patients, that I'd be happy to move right out of her way - as soon as I could pull into the space ahead. She stared at me for a moment and then, apparently having decided she didn't want to engage in a full-on brawl in the middle of the Costco parking lot in the rain (the only other option), she retreated back to the safety of her vehicle.

And no, she wasn't driving a Prius - the new Hummer, whose only good thing is that having one saves you from going door to door telling everyone in your neighborhood that you're an asshole. The Prius has an added bonus: you don't have to announce that you're vegan. All though, being vegan doesn't come with a limitation on announcements.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Perhaps The Bunny Life Isn't So Bad...

I'm so excited over the photos I took a while back. I'm amazed at how well they turned out and how fun it actually was to take them. I'll admit I was a bit of a Nervous Nellie at the beginning, but as I said, the photographer was great! Which got me thinking - maybe I chose the wrong line of work. But then I started thinking about how most women who enter the adult entertainment industry - perhaps through the more grey area of softcore magazines, for the most part end up exploited and used.

Because there's a huge difference between my innocent little photo session and women who pose for various magazines; I chose to do this and enjoyed it. I didn't have to do it to earn a living. Not that I'm judging. If your life long dream is to pose nude or participate in adult movies and you end up with a flourishing career doing what you love, more power to you.

These are a few of the photos I had taken, but I won't be wearing a bunny tail anytime soon.

Speaking of bunnies - there are a lot of them hopping about these days. Despite their fluffy cuteness, they are lethal! I came close to crashing numerous times last time they were bouncing about.

I haven't written a lot about biking lately because there really hasn't been a lot to report. I suspect this will change once "biking season" starts for real again. So while I haven't filled my weekends with escapades on two wheels, I have filled them with other variations of it.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Two down, Four To Go

I had interview one and two of four last Friday and was offered both jobs - which leaves me in several predicaments. I'll get to those shortly but first - interviews! They are the worst! I've been on both sides of the process and I get why there has to be form questions, but that doesn't mean they're not stupid.

Hall of fame:

What’s your greatest weakness?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
With all the talented candidates, why should we hire you?
If you were a [can of soup, species of animal, etc.] which one would you be?

After a change of jobs became a reality, I had a good think over the weekend. The thing is, I feel bad. I feel bad about wanting to leave. My manager is going out in maternity leave shortly and I know I will stress her out in a big way if I give notice now. She might go into premature labor because of it.

But the thing is, she isn't much of a manager. She's a good person but managing isn't her strong suit. Remember my coworker who gets away with murder? That shit is still going on strong and it's getting really old now.

Look, I know there really isn't such a thing as The Perfect Job, so what it comes down to is whether the positives outweigh the negatives. And in many ways, such is the case with my current job. The job in and of itself is a breeze. I could do it with my eyes closed. My coworkers are fine the majority of the time, I've never had a conflict with anyone here (they are way too passive aggressive anyway for that to happen), and they pay me well.

I'm full of First World problems these days, aren't I.

Speaking of problems, the rain is back.

After having biked in short sleeves however briefly, it was a little tough to return to full rain gear this morning. Fuck rule #5. It sometimes just sucks to ride my bike in pouring rain. My right knee has started hurting a little again, so I'm riding on an easier gear these days.

I also just missed the drug party in our building garage. I arrived just as the cops did their whole party pooper act and used handcuffs in the non-fun way on two of the party goers. Turns out our building garage is on the hot list of places to shoot up and party the night/life away in. Another benefit of biking to work: I'm never in the garage. I should add that to the list of benefits.

Tomorrow is my third interview for the Star Team.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Four Interviews And A Photo Shoot

I've been contemplating (not my navel) leaving my current job. Not because it's particularly awful. Lord knows I've had worse. It's just that I spend most of my time with little to nothing to do. To some people, having nothing to do probably sounds wonderful, and it was for a while but not anymore. Funny observation I've made along my professional way: the more you make, the less you have to work. I make more money now than I've ever made and I do far less than I've ever had to do.

So I stuck my toe in the water and got quite a few nibbles. I have four interviews lined up, but nothing is for sure yet. I may or may not stay where I am. Grass being/seeming greener and all that. Now, the grass might very well turn out to be greener, in which case I'm outta here.

First World Problem, you say? Yes, it does sound a bit like that, doesn't it. Pissing and moaning because I get paid a lot to do nothing. However, I hate not being busy. I need go be on the go and learn things. If I'm not mentally and physically challenged - just shoot me. In the face. And don't miss.
Cleaning toilets is a life long dream of mine! I'm so [something] I could die!
It's a hard knock life... but somebody's gotta do it (not me in the photo)
Speaking of photos, a few weeks ago I had some photos taken. The kind of photos one probably shouldn't post online unless one is seeking employment in the adult film industry. Well, I might be exaggerating a little because the photos aren't vulgar or anything. They are actually quite tasteful. At least I think they are. So why did I have this done? Relax, not planning a future in the other Silicon Valley. Needed a morale boost because I've been feeling a bit flabby lately.

If you've been contemplating doing boudoir, I know a great place. This gal does wonders with posing, lighting, and just making you feel at ease. Below are some of the photos from that session. Of me. Yes. 

Besides, it's not like I'm applying for a teaching job.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

White Way To Delight

Sounds a little racist, ya? No, this isn't about some Donald Trump dream rally. It's a reference to one of my favorite books.
What does today's ride in have to do with Anne of Green Gable, you might ask. For one it was an excuse to include the best book/movie ever into this post. Secondly, this:

Today's commute was cold. Freezing, in fact. There was frost on the ground and a cocoon of fog at the top of the hill.
Cherry blossoms and a clean sidewalk, what more can a girl ask for?
Yes, I did bike on the sidewalk but do you see any pedestrians? I think not.

My gloves sucked balls but I'm not doing anything about it now since it's almost spring - well, technically it is already, and I don't feel like spending a Benjamin on new gloves. So for now I'll just have to live with frost bites. Small price to pay for being able to bike to work without getting drenched.

A thing I've noticed is that my legs don't have the same amount of strength from day to day. One day I'm fine biking up a hill on a lower gear and it doesn't bother me at all. The next day I can barely make it up the same hill in the granny gear. I suppose that's par for the course. Probably dependent on what I ate the day before, the amount of sleep I had, and then there's also the sun, the moon, and the tide - and whether Jupiter aligns with Mars.

Only a month to go until the insane thing I've committed to doing. There sure are days when I shake my head, thinking "what in the world am I doing!", but then I think it'll be a nice notch on my metaphorical bed post. And what a story to tell the grandchildren! If I live to tell the tale...

The other thing I mentioned yesterday? It's happening tomorrow.