Thursday, February 4, 2016

How I Got Cat 6'd And Other Misplaced Testosterone

Apparently there's a lot to learn as far as bike lingo is concerned. After describing my tale of woe from my commute the other day, +Dan Saunders made me aware of something called CAT 6. I had no idea what that was, so I looked it up and here's what Urban Dictionary has to say about this sort of behavior.
Unless I'm wearing this, don't race me
CAT 6 racing or "hipster racing" refers to commuter cyclists who race one another during their commutes to work. As opposed to CAT 5 roadbike racing, CAT 6 racing starts when a stranger riding a bike tries to pass another cyclist and the other cyclist speeds up rather than let them pass. This creates an impromptu "hipster race."

In my experience, nothing good comes from anything that has "hipster" in its description. The above proves my point. UD goes on to say:

CAT 6 races are often started by testosterone-pumped mountain bikers trying to pass roadies or roadies who are horrified that a girl on a beat down huffy is pasing them going up hill.

Based on this definition, I am not a CAT 6er, but it's clear I am the vicitm of CAT 6'ing. Since I'm the girl on the beat down huffy, it's pretty likely that this is what's going on.

However, there are rules to CAT 6 or SCR (Silly Commuter Racing), and if everyone can abide by these I have no problems with it.

The Rules:

• No Dangerous Manoeuvres – Don’t be a danger to any other road users or yourself. Falling off causes pain to you and others around you, don’t do it! (oh and you lose yer points)

• Don’t ride like a fool, we’re all just trying to get somewhere!

• No passing at Lights/Junction/Crossings, if you do, it doesn’t count

• All passing on open road ONLY. Filtering in traffic is null and void (you know whether you’ve dropped someone fairly, and haven’t turned off straight afterwards)

• Pavement passes, either you or the target, are void

• Show no pain, unless your face is just like that


Or perhaps more correctly: MEN.
My kind of neighbor
Which brings me to a conversation I had with my neighbor when I was getting the mail.

Neighbor: “So I guess you’re not going to the neighborhood watch meeting again tonight?”

Me:  “When is it?”

Neighbor:  “At 8:00. Are you coming this time?”

Me:  “No. I just wanted to know the best time to rob all your houses.”

Neighbor:  “…?”

Me:  “Not yours though.”

Neighbor:   “Thanks?”

Me:  “Dude. I’m just kidding.”

Neighbor:  *nervous laughter* “Well I thought so but it’s kind of hard to tell with you sometimes.”

Me:  “I meant I’m just kidding about not robbing your house.”

Neighbor:  ?

Me:  “That was a joke too.”

Neighbor:  “I have to go now.”

Me:  “Cool. Leave your door unlocked if you don’t want me to break a window.”

Neighbor:  “What?”

Me:  *sigh*  “Nothing“.

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