Thursday, March 3, 2016

I'm Out Of Money. Will A Shout-Out Do?

The old currency
In one of the blogs I frequent (not as often as I used to, but that's another story), there's a post about tipping the bike mechanic with money. Not beer.

"The common wisdom notes that bike shop mechanics are happy to receive the beer. I would assert that the mechanics are simply being polite, in the same way that anytime anyone gives you anything, you act happy to receive it.

Here’s an interesting fact you may not have considered, however: rent, groceries, and utilities cannot be bartered for beer. 

As it turns out, beer is not as much of a fungible as some of us think."

Then he goes onto doing some weird math to show how much one ought to tip. In money. Not beer.

The new currency
Look, I don't want to sound like a cheap biatch, but I am one of those people who don't like to tip. Period. I don't feel that I, as a customer, should have to contribute to an employee making a decent salary. Sure, I tip at restaurants, but not happily so. The only reason I tip is that I know the person serving my food wouldn't make enough to feed a cat, let alone a human without my contribution.

I would rather pay more for the food rather than having to tip. But even in my perfect no-tip world there would be room for tipping - if the service I received was above and beyond.

I have found a great bike mechanic - Greg. Someone who, last time I was in spent about an hour working on my bike for free. Not the first time he's done this. Every time I've been in to the LBS, he has spent a lot of time with me and Tom Hardy. When I dropped off Tom Hardy the other day for a tune-up, his coworker told me Greg would be the one doing it and that he likes my bike. Greg is the mechanic who taught me how to change an inner tube, how to check brake pads, and how to tell if a chain needs swapping, and lots of other things.

I rest my case...
I would totally do Greg if it weren't for the fact that trading sexual favors for other favors resides in a very murky area. Besides, never mix biking and sex, nor business with pleasure. Again, the spandex factor is NOT the turn on some people apparently think it is.

But here's what I will do: I will give you a juuuuuuuge shout-out on my blog. I'm not saying that beers are ruled out, nor am I saying I wouldn't tip, but that would require me to knowing what kind of beer you like - if any, and a tip just seems so... cheap. You know, like breezing through town, for then to leave some money on your night stand. I would never want to reduce our relationship to a fistful of dollars.

I feel our relationship is beautiful and perfect just the way it is. I let you tend to my rim, ensure that I'm sufficiently lubed to keep me spinning in a smooth fashion. In return you'll have my eternal gratitude and the assurance of all my parts being in good working order.

Here's to Greg! The best bike mechanic in all the lands!

Ps! I did end up buying my bike mechanic a case of beer. It so happened they were drinking when I picked up my bike last night and I asked what kind of beer they were drinking, so I got them a case.


  1. LOVE THIS!!!!

    "I let you tend to my rim, ensure that I'm sufficiently lubed to keep me spinning in a smooth fashion"

    1. Lubing and proper rim care are important things. :)